I thought I’d revisit an old friend today, and discovered that this old friend has been absent from my life and subsequently your life since the beginning of 2016. It’s almost 2018. It’s been 2 years. How in the heck did that happen?! I’ve been racking my brain for what I’ve been doing, and why I haven’t been sharing it here with you. It amounts to a fair bit of adulting, and far more television watching than is probably ok. Thanks Netflix and Hulu.
As for the sharing part I’ll chalk that up to good ole fashioned fear. Yep fear. It’s not like I haven’t thought about this blog. Or writing. In fact, I have. And every time I manage to find a more important task that just must be done right then and there, and blogging will have to come later. Because let’s be honest I’ve got things to do, and a never-ending slew of excuses for why now is most definitely not the right time. There is my to-do list to tackle, closets to organize, I’m tired, this blog has no focus, who is even going to read this, and oh. my. god. what if they do?! etc., etc., etc. It’s all very confusing and a lot to think through. Leading to me not writing, but thinking a lot about it. And wondering what this blog may be if I can only get it together.
Fear. I really don’t want to live my life worrying about what everyone that stumbles across this blog may think. But that is exactly what I’ve been doing. The road to blog abandonment is paved with excuses and driven by fear. And when I have caved and somehow made it to the page to write, I cringe at the thought of actually publishing a post. When I opened this blog today, I was welcomed by 39 draft posts reminding me that I’ve dipped my toes in, and then run screaming in the other direction–safe in the security of the unpublished post. Shew.
Can I change? Can I stop with the excuses, and find the courage to hit publish? Can I make those 39 posts live? And then can I create more? Oh, the suspense. I guess we’ll all just have to wait and see.
The bit about “send your post out into the world” always gets me.
Not this time Publish button. Not this time.
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