May 2014

It was the weekend of Easter, and I’d told my mom that it’d be no problem to be home for the festivities around noon on Saturday(I know Easter is on Sunday, but my family starts celebrating on Saturday. That post is coming later. First things first). Of course, true to form on Saturday morning that time frame changed to around 2 pm. In my adulthood I have somehow evolved into a person that is always late. Since it doesn’t matter how much time I give myself to prepare for being on time, I generally just wake-up at the very last moment and rush around frantically like a maniac. I’ve learned that waking-up early doesn’t help. I’ll fall into a time warp and still turn up late. So this tactic seems to work for me.

It does, however, leave me a bit flustered. As does pumping gas in the middle of a wind/rain storm. I got out of the habit of pumping gas when I lived in Oregon, and it was a law that a gas station attendant had to pump your gas. I thought this was pretty ridiculous at first, but then I realized what a wonderful thing it was. So flustered Lauren pumping gas in the rain lead to me to do something I have never done before. I had the gas pump running, and without turning it off pulled the gas pump out of the gas tank. I made it rain. Gas-that is. Everywhere. Then I spent the car ride alternating between worrying that I was going to spontaneously combust because I was covered in gas, to worrying that we created an environmental hazard in the gas station parking lot. (We might have spilled some oil as well.) And were we supposed to report it?? It was an accident! How are we supposed to know the answers to these questions??

If you know the answer to this, please do tell.

So the other day, I was ~~running~~ walking through my office building on the way to Subway. Subway is a new addition to the building, and now becoming a regular addition to my diet as I think they are pumping the smell of fresh bread through the vents of the office, and I clearly have no self-control. I was just about to push through the door when a metal object fell from the ceiling. I’m not going to deny it, I had a moment where I almost pretended like I didn’t see the big metal object flying through the air in front of my face, and carried on with my Subway mission. It was only a brief moment, and of course ~~curiosity~~ doing the right thing won out. I picked-up the metal object which was surprisingly heavy, and dutifully took it to the security desk; pointing out that someone could have been killed by that thing.

A few nights later, I was out at a birthday party at a restaurant. I ended-up in the corner chatting it up with the girls, and having a grand old time. Unfortunately, I didn’t notice the lit candle hanging-out precariously close to my shoulder, and when I went to the bathroom tried to take it with me. It’s a flipping miracle that a lit candle, plus my hair and wool jacket, both of which I am sure are quite flammable, didn’t cause me to burst into flames. My jacket and boots suffered some wax damage, but I escaped unscathed. Or seemingly. I can’t help but wondering though– is the universe trying to tell me something??

Mom, I think it’s time for the helmet and race suit.

Month: May 2014

This is what happens when I get flustered…

Is the universe trying to tell me something??