***This is the email that you really want to send, but don’t. I wanted to send this after an interview a few weeks ago.
Dear Horrible Lady Potential Employer-
Thank you so much for the interview. I had really been looking forward to meeting you, and learning more about your company. I have to say that it was an eye-opening experience. From the beginning it was clear that you were really excited about interviewing me too. Even after reviewing my information, it was obvious that you really weren’t sure which applicant I was. I understand that you are a busy lady, but just like I prepare for an interview, I would assume you would too. Oh well, we made it work somehow.
Even if it was supremely awkward. I really enjoyed conducting the interview in a bookstore with everyone around us listening in. I don’t blame them, I’d probably eavesdrop too. My favorite was the girl who actually interrupted the interview to request your marketing services. It was also fun having you randomly pick questions out of thin air, criticize my choice in literature, mock my interview outfit and make me feel like a complete idiot. My favorite part and what I really want to thank you for, is for letting me know AFTER the interview that the position I was applying for had already been filled. I can honestly say that I have never been through an interview for a position that was already filled. So thank you for that first, and for wasting an hour of my time. I’m so glad that we got to sit in that bookstore together and really get to know each other. What I know for sure is that I will never, ever be working for your company.