For the past three weeks I have been on an intensive Spring Cleaning. And not involving my house, but my body. Out here in crunchy Bend the process of cleansing, ridding the body of toxins, is relatively common. Not something I’d ever considered as we all know I’m already screwed since I was raised in the South. And I’d seen too many friends choke down some odd mix of cayenne pepper, maple syrup and lemon in the name of cleansing. To be honest all this hippie-dippie gluten-free and vegan chatter around me made me want to throw-up in my mouth a little.
So what led this highly skeptical, beer guzzling, fried chicken eating girl to decide to embark on a cleanse? And a 28 day one at that?
A) I was brainwashed. With my gullible nature I didn’t stand a chance.
B) I was interested in extending my life span to continue said habits above.
C) The said benefits of cleanse-glowing skin, an increased awareness and clarity of mind, weight loss, and overall feeling of improved health were very attractive.
C) I like a challenge and trying new experiences.
D) I temporarily lost my mind.
It was the perfect storm. The factors above combined with the fact that the cleanse came highly recommended– This is life-changing stuff people! I’d be like the ugly duckling who emerged a beautiful swan after the process. It didn’t take long for my active imagination to turn this into the opportunity of a lifetime. And then my friend Hannah, aka my southern sister, happy hour buddy, totally gets my mentality cause she’s southern too, shocked the hell outta me by agreeing to do it too.
So I did it. Starting April 2 I embarked on the Arise and Shine 28 day cleanse. And I’ll try to keep it short. I had every intention of documenting the cleanse along the way, but apparently denied its treats of booze, meat, chocolate and boxed mac ‘n chz; my body said, Oh no, sister. You don’t get to torture me and then write about it. For whatever reason, throughout the whole process I had no energy to journal about it, blog, write a rant… Nada. The words just wouldn’t come. Well at least now I know what really fuels my creativity.
Basically, my diet during the cleanse was restricted to alkaline forming food–raw, organic veggies and fruit. And fruit only before lunch. You know it’s bad when you are pissed cause it’s 8 pm and you really, really want to eat a banana. I was allowed some cooked veggies (with the idea being 80% raw and 20% cooked); but no oil, salt or pepper which are mainstays in my cooking. Have you tried veggies sautéed in water? Just doesn’t have the same effect.
The program follows a schedule of meals, shakes (bentonite and psyllium) and herbal supplements. So from the time I woke-up until bed time I was ingesting something every hour and a half. While that kept my belly feeling full, I can’t say I ever felt truly satisfied with what I was eating. Let’s just say I most definitely do not have a future as a raw, vegan chef. I stuck with basic. Salads, another salad, more salad, soon I was drowning in salad and the occasional baked potato or quinoa that I was allowed a few times a week. The day I discovered I could have baked Portobello mushrooms was like the Heavens had opened and sent me a present. If I closed my eyes, I could pretend I was eating a steak. Kinda.
But alas, all good bad torturous things must come to an end. On Sunday, April 22 I officially completed 21 days and decided I was done. I’m now working on phasing out of the cleanse and slowly integrating all some of the no-no foods back into my diet. Yes, I said slowly. My reborn digestive system can only take so much. Although a burger with fries and a beer sounds AMAZING. But hey after 21 days of restraint and discipline I’ve learned a few things–I can wait a few more days. But I will add a milkshake to that order.
Would you ever do a cleanse?
diproute.com 